Useless insight

January 28th 2025 | ~ 3 minute read

Introduction

Sometimes I wonder what It'd be like to know beforehand, all of the moments that ended up being the last moment. A goodbye, taken for granted, that turned out true in the most literal sense. Would it make any sense to know? The question itself assumes a kind of finality, a powerlessness to change the outcome. I suppose, if there is such a thing as useless knowledge, this would qualify for that elusive title. After all, what's the purpose of knowing pain a bit better? It'll just hurt more in the end. And maybe that's the point. Maybe it would've been better for me to know, maybe the end wouldn't have come as a total surprise.

Dissonance

The proverbial example is that of kids playing on the playground, as we've done countless times before, every encounter similar to the last, until it wasn't. At some point, goodbyes have to mean something. At some point, the promise of seeing everyone tomorrow has to be broken. We like to think of our lives as possessing a certain rhythm, a drum beat for us to dance along. We like to think of it as constant, immobile, certain even. As sure as the Sun will rise the following day. But sometimes, that drum decides to end on a discordant note. Our presumption falling faster than a flimsily supported Jenga tower. The callous, unfeeling universe asserting its unpredictability yet again.

Anxiety without proper cause

To answer the original question, no, I don't think there would be any point in that particular kind of clairvoyance. The knowledge of the immutability of future events would weigh heavier than any sudden realization. To prove a point with an extreme example, would the knowledge of exactly how and when you'll die help you in any conceivable way? No, it'd only weigh on you day after fleeting day. Your life spent in anxiously awaiting the inevitable visitation of the reaper, forgetting to actually live in the process. A heinous blasphemy in a world where our lives are so painfully brief.

Necessary self-deception

Maybe I was wrong, this knowledge is more than useless, it's actively harmful. We need to live our lives as if everything and everyone will last forever, because knowing the end is mounting near would defeat all purpose of having relationships at all. All of the moments I spent with people no longer in my life (those I like to remember at least) would've played out (if they played out at all) entirely differently had I known everything would eventually end. In this sense, we need the Matrix of blind faith to be perpetually pulled over our eyes, but, unlike Neo, we shouldn't follow the white rabbit, because this specific lie is a necessary one, a construct designed to defend our fragile human mind against that same callous and unpredictable universe.

Conclusion

To laugh in the face of the unknown. To hope against hope. To partake in the quintessentially human yearning for genuine connection, as we were always meant to. Every smile, every moment of bliss, of joy and even shared suffering is precious and it deserves to be protected. What's a little uncertainty when we stand to gain so much? I choose to wake up in a world that is a little brighter every day, in spite of all that may lie ahead.